I tried yoga for a few weeks about 5 years ago… I always wanted to just go for it and jump in. I’d never been flexible, and I’d always wanted to be. That was about all I thought I’d get from it. Several friends of mine started frequenting Yoga Hour at a convenient and trendy spot close to where we all lived in downtown Tucson. So I went. I filled out the obligatory first timer form, dropped my dollars in the big brass bowl on the counter just inside the door, left my effects in a cubby, found a dirty used mat and found myself a place next to my friends in the front row of about 25 people who had already found their spots.
It was comforting to see that in attendance were yogans of all shapes and sizes. And the woman who came to guide us through our hour was chill and she had been at the counter when I did my form so she knew I was a beginner. The whole experience was pleasant overall. I did enjoy it. I felt stretched, expanded, worked out, peaceful and cool. I did not enjoy sweating into my glasses upside down in a room full of strangers. At first. The sensei or yogi mistress or whatever the term is was pregnant, calm and friendly. She would stop by my filthy mat and help me with posture… usually telling me to spread my fingers and toes farther apart. I really did enjoy it, and I felt relaxed afterwards… but after three or four or however many weeks the schedules between my friends and I didn’t match or something - I don’t remember.
After that, I never went back. I flat out refused in fact when friends would invite me. To this day I still flat out refuse my roommate when she wants to do some basic yoga stretching in the morning, and I don’t know why the hell why! I think for a while I was too self-conscious to get back in that room because I had put on some weight. In fact a year or so ago while training for a 5k, my best friend would guide my cousin and I through some yoga stretching scenario she had created to keep our legs nice and nimble so that we could keep training without getting sore. But I still refuse it - I think I don’t have faith in myself that I will be able to keep my practice up long enough to see results and thus decide to treat the mere subject with disdain. Or perhaps I’m not brave enough to do something I know I won’t be good at immediately.
How can I convince myself that Yoga will benefit me in long-term and meaningful ways?
I’ve read benefits and such, but maybe I just need a crowdsourced encouragement. “How embarrassing,” I thought as I typed the last sentence. Oh well. The picture above looked like something I might be able to do Haha, but certainly not for long.
I guess I must rediscover the things about Yoga that appeal to me and use them as my fuel.